One of the most common things I hear when I tell people about my work is, “So… what kind of pain do you treat?” or “Does it have to be really bad for someone to see you?” These are honest questions—and they speak to a bigger truth: many people living with chronic pain aren’t sure if they “qualify” for support.

Here’s the thing: chronic pain therapy isn’t just for someone with a formal diagnosis. And it’s not just for folks whose pain is “severe enough.” It’s for anyone who’s feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or curious about what might be possible with the right kind of support.

Whether you’re dealing with daily back pain, joint pain that flares up without warning, headaches or migraines that throw off your whole rhythm, or persistent discomfort that doctors can’t quite explain—your experience is real. And it matters.

Living with chronic pain can take many forms, and it’s not always easy to know when therapy could be helpful. Pain can affect your body, mind, and emotions in subtle, complex ways. Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint what’s truly missing or what might make the difference between simply getting by vs feeling more in control.

Here are some signs that therapy might be a good fit—whether or not you’ve ever worked with a therapist before:

You feel like you’re constantly ***negotiating*** *with your body* just to get through the day
You ***cancel*** *plans* at the last minute because of flare-ups or exhaustion
You ***leave*** *gatherings or events* *early* because your body hits a limit—even if you wish you could stay
You *find yourself* ***explaining*** (or defending) your needs to family, coworkers, or friends, but they still don’t seem to get it
You ***avoid*** *certain movements or activities,* even ones you used to enjoy, because you’re afraid of making things worse
You *feel* ***pressure*** *to push through pain*, even when your body’s asking for rest
You’re ***holding*** *a lot—frustration, fear, shame, fatigue*—and could use a space to untangle it all with support

If any of that sounds familiar, it’s not a sign that you’re doing something wrong. It’s a sign that you’ve been doing your best—and, now, it might be time for something more sustainable.

Let’s break it down.

1. You Don’t Need a Formal Diagnosis to Benefit from Pain Therapy

Therapist and patient collaborating on chronic pain management, working together alongside medical providers for a holistic approach to treatment. — You might be living with a named condition like **migraines, fibromyalgia, failed back surgery syndrome (FBSS),** **Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS)**, **endometriosis**, or **arthritis**. You might have pain that doesn’t have a neat label—like debilitating headaches that come and go, pain from an old injury, or mysterious jaw or pelvic pain that leaves you feeling dismissed or confused.

***Pain therapy is about your experience***, not about your paperwork. If your pain is persistent, unpredictable, or interfering with how you want to live your life—even if no one’s quite figured out “what it is”—you still deserve support.

Learn more about my approach to working with clients living with chronic pain.

2. You Don’t Have to Be at “Rock Bottom” to Get Help

There’s this unspoken idea that you should only seek help when things are “really bad.” But what if support was actually most powerful before you hit your limit?

Person at a birthday party smiling through chronic pain, illustrating how you don't have to hit rock bottom to seek support for managing pain. — Therapy for chronic pain can be helpful if you:
You **constantly keep track** of when to rest, take medications, or apply heat/ice, making you feel mentally exhausted by the end of the day
You find that **flare-ups trigger anxiety**, leaving you worried about how they will affect your work or social life
After a flare-up, you feel overwhelmed with **feelings of hopelessness or guilt**, like your body isn’t cooperating
You’ve **tried multiple treatments or medications** without finding lasting relief, and you're frustrated with the lack of progress
You often feel like you’re **going in circles with providers**, having the same conversations or repeating the same tests without any real answers
You struggle to find balance between "pushing through" pain and needing to rest, **feeling uncertain about when to stop or go**
You're **craving a deeper connection with your body**, wanting tools to help you feel empowered instead of overwhelmed by pain

**It’s still ok to ask for help even if your life is technically “functional” on paper.** If pain is draining your energy, making you second-guess your plans, or keeping you from feeling fully present—those are valid reasons to reach out.
Just because you're managing to go through the motions of daily life doesn’t mean chronic pain isn’t taking a toll. Pain doesn’t always present itself in ways others can see; it often lingers in the background, draining your energy and making you feel disconnected from your body. You might find yourself canceling plans last minute or feeling mentally exhausted from constantly planning around pain—even when you want to be in the moment.

It's common to feel emotionally and physically depleted, as if you're going through the motions without fully participating in the things that once brought you joy. But wanting better is ok, too. Therapy for chronic pain can help you regain a sense of balance, presence, and control.

If pain is affecting your quality of life—even if you're technically still managing—it's absolutely reasonable (and valid) to seek extra support. Therapy for chronic pain can help you learn new ways to reclaim your sense of well-being and provide relief from the mental load of managing pain and give you tools to feel more grounded, empowered, and engaged in your life again.

3. You Don’t Have to Already Know What You Need

When you’re living with a chronic illness—especially one that’s invisible or hard to diagnose—it can feel like you have to be your own strongest advocate. Like you need to walk into every appointment already knowing what to ask for, just in case the provider doesn’t fully understand or take you seriously. That pressure is real, and it’s exhausting. It’s painful when the very systems meant to support you make you work even harder, on top of what you’re already carrying.

You deserve care that doesn’t add to that burden. Chronic pain therapy is built to meet you exactly where you are. You don’t need to have all the answers or know exactly what you want from the start. A good therapist will walk alongside you—help you make sense of what you’re experiencing and collaborate with you to create a plan that feels supportive, empowering, and tailored to your needs.

There’s no one way pain is “supposed” to look. And you don’t need to be at a breaking point to start healing. You just need a willingness to explore something different.

I get it—It’s natural to have doubts when considering any kind of therapy, especially if it’s your first time. In particular, when considering therapy for chronic pain, you might be wondering:

…how a mental health provider can help with your physical health condition (Pain is both a sensory and emotional experience.)
…or if it means you’re “crazy” because you’re talking to a psychologist. (We don’t use that word around these parts, but either way: you’re not.)
…or if you’ll finally be proving that unsupportive doctor right, that the pain is indeed “all in your head.” (Yes, pain is a signal that comes from the brain. No, you’re not making it up. [P.S. that doctor sucks.])

Simply put, there are *so many reasons* that taking this step may feel intimidating or unnatural, especially if you’ve spent years managing chronic pain *on your own.* Even if you know that support could make a difference, the thought of opening up to someone you don’t know—sharing your personal struggles with a stranger—can feel daunting or overwhelming. It’s easy to second-guess yourself and decide that now is not the right time.
🌿 Helpful reminders—
Therapy is not about being "**broken**."
You don’t have to share everything in **one** **sitting**.
Therapy is a **safe**, **non-judgmental**, and **confidential** space.
In therapy, you get to explore what’s working for you—and what’s not—**at your own pace**.
A therapist isn’t there to judge, shame, or “should” you—they’re there to **listen**, **understand**, and **work with you** to find strategies that fit your life.

If you’re feeling apprehensive about therapy, you’re not alone—it’s completely natural to feel nervous about starting something new or important. No matter where you’re at, I believe every person deserves to feel **supported**, **heard**, and **empowered**, and that’s what I’ll aim to provide as a pain psychologist, even in the consultation phase. I understand you might not have it all figured out when we first connect, and that’s ok. My free 15-minute consultation is designed to help you with *exactly* *this*—exploring if online therapy for chronic pain is right for you, asking any questions, and getting comfortable with the process before committing. (And hey, you can always change your mind later; there are no contracts in therapy.)

What is therapy for chronic pain, anyway?

Chronic pain therapy is different from traditional talk therapy. Yes, we’ll talk—but it’s not just about processing emotions or debriefing your day. It’s about learning concrete tools and strategies to help you live more fully, even alongside the pain.

Cozy living room setting representing the diverse strategies in chronic pain therapy, beyond just talking, including mindfulness, movement, and relaxation techniques. — We might explore:
Mind-body strategies to calm the nervous system
Practical pacing and boundary-setting tools
Ways to reframe unhelpful thoughts without gaslighting yourself
Gentle approaches to reconnect with your body instead of fighting it

Pain therapy honors your lived experience. It’s not about pushing through, fixing you, or implying that your pain is made up. It’s about working *with* your body—respecting its **rhythms**, understanding the **messages** it’s sending, and helping you **regain** **control** from the pain that feels like it's calling all the shots.

Check out the services we offer to get a sense of whether online therapy for chronic pain might be your right next step.

One final note

In case you need to hear it: seeking support is not a sign of weakness (no matter what your battle buddies say). Really, it’s an investment in your own well-being. It’s about taking proactive steps to reclaim your energy and quality of life, no matter your current pain level. You deserve to feel better—to live with more ease and to stop living day-to-day in survival mode.

Person feeling relieved during a telehealth consultation for chronic pain therapy, experiencing support and guidance from a remote therapy session. — If you’re ready to explore how online therapy for chronic pain can make a difference, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation. It’s a chance to ask questions, get a feel for how I work, and see if therapy might be a helpful next step. (No pressure. Just an open door.)

You don’t have to carry this alone. Let’s find your way forward—together.

Alcove Mental Health provides psychological evaluations and online therapy for chronic pain, health-related stress and individuals coping with complex medical conditions in over 40 states, including Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.